Interview with Yeonni from YouTube
Yeonni is a therapist and mental wellness advocate. She runs a YouTube channel with over 14k subscribers in counting. Yeonni makes videos about mental health, doodle, eat, and her rolling through life.
1. What’s your ethnicity and multicultural experience?
I am Korean and was born in Seoul, South Korea in April, 1994. I moved to the United States when I was 6 years old because my father had heard that there were more job growth opportunities for him in the States. I was only in kindergarten at the time but I can remember how confusing that time was for my family and myself. We moved to a predominantly Caucasian town, and growing up in that environment was … difficult, to say the least. Blatant discrimination and racism were part of our every day lives, whether it was in being picked on in school because of my Asian eyes, or even witnessing my mother being ridiculed for her broken English at the grocery store. I struggled with my identity from a young age.
2. Growing up as Asian-American, have you felt that you face more expectations from your parents to achieve greater success than your peers who are not Asian?
Of course! Growing up Asian-American in a predominantly Caucasian town I knew right away that the expectations that my parents had for me were very different from the other kids. At the time I felt that my parents were being unreasonable, strict and expecting too much from me; however, looking back at that time now, I can see that it was simply that their own understanding of a “good parent” and a “good child” was very different from the standard of those around me who were not Asian-American.
3. Which mental wellness related issues have you personally experienced or thought deeply about?
I think as far as I can remember I struggled deeply with wanting to feel like I belonged. Whether it was the family environment that I grew up in as a child or being the only Asian kid in town (or honestly probably a lot of both), I always wanted to belong. This desire led to many childhood and adolescent years of self-criticism and people-pleasing behavior that were absolutely debilitating to my sense of self. When I entered college I experienced some severely traumatic experiences that hurt me physically, emotionally and mentally. I have been dealing with anxiety, panic attacks and depression all my life and only through finding my own coping skills, supportive circles and therapy have I been able to deal, learn and move forward. But it's a continuous journey of checking in with myself and doing self-care! Like eating food to sustain my body, I need to engage in self-care to sustain my mental health.
4. How has your culture shaped your identity?
As you could expect, growing up as an Asian-American at a young age, I struggled immensely with identifying with my culture. Maybe because it was the age that I was when I first moved to the U.S., but I felt that I was thrown into a completely foreign environment (quite literally) during the beginnings of the delicate years of the exploration of my own identity. It was all very confusing and I felt very alone because there was no one else like me. And because there was no one else like me, I felt that there was something wrong with me. I remember specifically one Halloween when I was 8 years old, I told my parents that I wanted to wear a blonde wig to the school Halloween parade. They asked me why, and I apparently told them because I wanted to be beautiful like the blonde children (yikes). Looking back now, because it took me so long to find love and appreciation for my culture and identity, I cherish it so much more now. My cultural identity doesn't look or feel like my parents or like anyone else's, but a mixture of all of my own experiences and how far I've come in embracing it.
5. How did you think your degree in psychology helped you find your calling?
I started taking psychology classes in college because I found it fascinating to learn about how people processed thoughts and emotions. I think maybe somewhere deep inside I wanted to figure out what was “wrong” with me. Growing up I had been told many times from my Asian family and relatives that it was “wrong” for me to feel too much, to explore too much of my thoughts and feelings. When I would try to talk to my family about my feelings of anxiety and depression, it was always brushed off with humor or a cautious warning to stop indulging in my feelings. Little did I know, this little journey to “fix” myself actually became a journey of self-discovery where I realized that I actually was perfectly fine! I was processing emotions because I was HUMAN (wow, who would have thought)! The more psychology classes I took, I learned more I learned about myself about how people interact with one another. Psychology sparked my interest in human interactions, and when it combined with my passion in empowering others.. I knew I was meant to be a therapist!
6. What is your current profession, and how did you decide to pursue this career path？
I am currently a clinical team lead therapist at a substance abuse outpatient program. After studying psychology in undergrad, I knew I wanted to work in a field where I could directly impact individuals in the community. I actually did not even know about the field of social work until senior year of college! I absolutely fell in love with the values of social work where clinical psychotherapy, social justice, and the client-centered perspective come together so beautifully and powerfully empower clients. To be able to help clients by being sensitive to their cultural backgrounds and their mental health: the cultural humility aspect of social work spoke so dearly to my heart and experiences.
7. We know that you have a successful YouTube channel, what was your initiative for starting this YouTube channel?
This might be funny, but my first YouTube channel (which is deleted now), was a channel where I made song covers! I wanted to start a YouTube channel where I hold discussions on mental health and social justice topics because I noticed a significant lack in such videos. So many people frequent YouTube for entertainment, and I thought it would be so awesome if someone could come to YouTube to watch a music video and somehow end up on one of my videos and leave YouTube with tips of feeling less anxious or with tips on self-love. I receive countless DMs and emails from subscribers and viewers who have confided in me that they have been able to find hope and strength to my videos and that is why I make YouTube videos. To help people, because that is my joy and passion :)
8. Are there any changes in people’s perception of mental wellness that you hope to see in our Asian community?
I am hoping for more safe discussions on mental health in our Asian community. I emphasize safe because of the strong, negative stigma that exists. There are so many Asian Americans who suffer in silence, and I envision a future where we can begin to explore and embrace conversations on dealing will mental illness and grappling with asking for help. When you say "vision", I find myself seeing a physical vision of a group of Asian Americans sitting in a room together. Asian Americans who are young, old, members of the LGBTQ community, abled and disabled and everyone else sitting in a room together. Sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences and crying, laughing, experiencing anger and all the ranges of emotions - because they can and they want to! I work hard every day and keep speaking up as a mental wellness advocate to work towards such environments someday.
9. Any advice for our East Asian peers who are struggling with self-identity or mental challenges?
I would say, please remember that you are not alone. While we are at times grossly underrepresented in the mainstream conversations on mental health, we exist. In more numbers than you would believe. Don't isolate, and keep reaching out to your supportive circles. Whether it's friends, campus counseling centers, entities like Project T.E.A., you are not alone in your struggles! It's all a journey and process, you've come this far, overcome so much, and your story is essential in this movement of raising awareness and combatting negative stigma in our Asian communities.
10. What positive impact do you hope Project T.E.A. to carry out in the long-term? How would you support this vision?
I hope that Project T.E.A. will become the foundation and platform to hold important conversations regarding mental health for our Asian American peers. Visibility is key! I am excited for Project T.E.A. to become the forefront of not only mental health resources but a place where connections and communities will form between Asian Americans. How would I support this vision? Well, I'll keep working hard and advocating for more conversations on Asian American mental health in my work and on social media. This mission is a passion project of mine, and it would be an honor to support you in whatever ways I can!
For Our Readers:
Check out @hiyeonni on YouTube and Instagram for inspiring mental health videos that will change your mindset and bring true positivity into your life!